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Most work leaving dos start in a drab coffee room at the office. Everyone in the company usually comes, either because it’s free food or because they’re delighted to see the back whoever’s leaving. To make the surroundings a little less sterile (let’s face it, nobody wants their leaving do to take place to the backdrop of a dusty overhead projector and the leftovers from somebody else’s lunch meeting) dress the room up a bit. If you have access to a projector, put together a slideshow about the person who is leaving — photos, anecdotes, funny things they have said or done at work — and project it onto a screen or wall. Festoon the room with balloons, streamers and bunting in company colours, or, if the party boy or girl has a favourite colour, hobby or nickname, incorporate that into the theme.
This tends to be followed by drinks in the local pub, which only the people who actually like the leaver will attend. Make sure you reserve an area in the pub or bar so that they know to expect you.
Everyone will be either at work, or coming straight from work, but ask them to make a little effort in reflecting the theme of the party in their attire. You might want to make people bring a change of clothes so that they can get out of their grey suits or overalls before the partying starts. Alternatively, get some cheap T-shirts printed up with a humiliating photo of the person who is leaving, and make everyone in the company wear one to the party.
The standard schedule for a leaving do is eating, drinking, and of course a suitably embarrassing speech from the boss about what a wonderful, dedicated employee the person leaving has been (even if they’ve been an idle so-and-so whom everyone is glad to see the back of), plus a speech from the person leaving, during which they may or may not shed a tear, all about how much they have enjoyed working with you all and how sad they are to be leaving. These lies are an important part of the whole routine and should under no circumstances be replaced with any brutal honesty about pay, conditions or office politics.
Finish proceedings with the presentation of a card and gift — the card should be as big and tasteless as possible, signed by absolutely everyone in the company. This is an essential part of the fun, as it will give the leaver hours of confusion as they try to work out who all these people are and where on earth they have been hiding.
Food should be substantial, and chosen with a view to lining the stomach before an evening’s over-indulgence, so go heavy on the carbs. It should also be easy to purchase in your lunch hour from the local supermarket, and easy to clear up afterwards. Sandwiches, crisps and dips and nuts should do the trick. And of course tradition dictates that whoever is leaving should be forced to buy vast quantities of cakes.
Depending on your budget, it is nice to offer a range of beverages to suit all requirements – from orange juice for pregnant/teetotal colleagues and for those who forgot about the party and drove to work, cans of lager for the lads in the facilities team, and cava for everyone else (unless you work in PR, in which case, it will probably be proper champagne or vodka cocktails or something very trendy).
Unless you are lucky enough to have a catering department at work, it is likely that plastic cups will be the order of the day, and the only drinks to be cold will be the couple of bottles that you managed to cram into the office fridge at lunchtime. Nobody will mind, just so long as it’s free. |  |
| 1. | So Long, Farewell / The Sound of Music Soundtrack |
| 2. | With a Little Help from My Friends / John Lennon & Paul McCartney |
| 3. | Since You’ve Been Gone / Kelly Clarkson |
| 4. | Leave Before the Lights Come On / Arctic Monkeys |
| 5. | Goodbye / Spice Girls
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| 6. | Never Can Say Goodbye / Jackson 5 |
| 7. | Goodbye / The Coral |
| 8. | Go / Moby |
| 9. | Leave (Get Out) / JoJo |
| 10. | I Will Survive / Gloria Gaynor |
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